mo. 7

Hi baby,

Recently I completely, cold turkey, stopped reading anything on the internet about babies and how to raise them.  I found myself getting completely overwhelmed and caught up in what you "should" be doing, what I "should" be doing.  I ended up feeling like a failure approximately 99% of the time.  Since I stopped reading and comparing, its like a million lbs has been lifted off my shoulders.  If you eat less some days, no big deal.  If you don't take a nap after 3 pm, I don't spend the entire evening CERTAIN that you are going to freak out and have a meltdown.  Maybe you will, maybe you won't.  Regardless, we will figure it out.

I think you and me and your dad are all smart enough to figure things out for ourselves.  And to ask for help when we need it.

That said, I don't want to sound like a hypocrite, because I do have this blog and I do share it with people.  But this is for you and for me to remember these early months/years, and in the meantime, it helps make the distance between family and friends a little less.  And I think its pretty clear that I'm no expert, but that I'm trying.

These two months have literally been wonderful.  One day I was at work and I suddenly realized that I couldn't wait to get home to hold you.  I've loved you since before you were born, and I've loved being your mom every minute, but the first few months were often exhausting, frustrating, and scary.   I'm not sure if its that I'm a little calmer, or that you are a little easier, or a combination of both - but I MISS you when I'm not with you.  I wonder what you are doing, how long you napped, if you ate your peas (yes - you eat real people food now), how much you babbled.  And you light up when I walk in a room, so I think the feeling is mutual.

Some of the fun things from the past two months:

1.  You eat real people food.   We started with rice cereal and oatmeal, and now you eat peas, carrots, sweet potato, banana and guacamole.  Guacamole is your favorite, which makes me laugh.  How very Arizona of you.  However, carrots do NOT agree with you.  Or with me or your dad, because we have to change gross diapers 6 times a day after you eat them.

2.  You sit all the time.  You love to sit on the floor and play with your toys, banging things together and moving things from one hand to the other.  I'm probably biased, but I think your fine motor skills are pretty advanced.  Your favorite toys are your little lamb, this giraffe that spits out balls, and a little house shape sorter.  And garbage (paper, envelopes, etc) that your dad gives you.  And cat toys that your dad gives you.

3.  You can stand if we hold your arms or lean you against the coffee table.  In the past few days all you want to do is stand, which is slightly irritating, but amusing.  The other day I was showing your teachers at day care how you can stand up and I looked away for a second and you fell and hit your head on the ground hard.  And started SCREAMING.  I was totally freaked out (and a bit embarrassed).  I rocked you and tears ran down my face.  I know you'll fall, but I don't think I'll ever like it when you are hurt - particularly if it is partially my fault.

4.  Your Grandma Fisher came out to visit you.  You loved being around her and she loved putting coffee filters on your head as a hat.

5.  We left you overnight for the first time with Grammy and Grandpa.  Your dad and I went to Las Vegas to celebrate our 2 year anniversary.  I texted your Grammy approximately every 15 minutes to see how you were doing for that first day.  It was hard, but your dad and I had a wonderful time.  We needed a little us time.  And your grandpa taught you how to dance and your grammy put you in the front of a shopping cart for the first time!

6.  You love love love fart noises.  You will squeal with delight when we make them.

7.  I'm pretty sure you love your dad more than anyone on the planet.  You light up when I come in the room, but when he comes in the room, you smile and coo and squeal.  And then when he leaves the room, you scream.  This is a little trying while he's working from home, because he comes and goes pretty frequently.  So I try to distract you as much as I can.

8.  You are still a great sleeper - you sleep through the night most nights.  You'll wake up a couple of times typically, but we just have to put your pacifier back in your mouth and then you are fine.

9.  You love your little lamb.

10.  You love to be out of the house.  This is problematic because its starting to get really hot.  But we go to lunch and to the grocery store and on other errands and you are the happiest baby alive.  Everyone thinks you are beautiful - your eyes get more compliments than I can express - everyone stops to comment.  Your dad hates talking to strangers so he just completely ignores them, which is rude.  Don't do that when you grow up.

11.  You are getting FAT.  I can't even button half your clothes because of your chunky legs.  Its hilarious

Work has been hard for me.  It was the busiest time of the year in the study abroad office, and working part time was really quite challenging.  On top of that, it has been a struggle for me to learn how to switch gears from being stay at home mom to working mom and back every week.  Some days I feel like it is the perfect balance of me time and of us time.  Most days I feel like I'm not doing a very good job at either.  But, its a work in progress and I'm taking it one day at a time.

Up until this point, I've only thought about how cute you are and how funny you are.  But now I see you try really hard to do things.  And I see how creative you are (ex. instead of learning to crawl to get a toy you want, you have started to pull the blanket towards you so you can pick up the toy that way - genius!).  Now I spend alot of time wondering what kind of kid you will be.  Will you like flowers?  Karate?  Hula hoops?  Bubbles?  Will you want to be a chef when you grow up?  Or the President of the United States?  Or a piano teacher?  I love learning more about you every day.

These are times I will treasure.  I treasure you.

How did I get so lucky?

I love you, Molly-pop.

Mom