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| At an Indians Spring Training game for Pat's birthday |
Hi baby,
(I am a little afraid you are going to think your name is "Baby" because that is all we call you.)
Whew! Your sixth month was intense. Your dad left his job at MTD and started a new job with Siemens. He works from home most of the time and will travel quite a bit. I'm sure eventually it will feel like normal, but it definitely has been an adjustment for everyone - its so strange to have him around at 10 am but then sometimes not around for days. But he likes it so far. And you are 100% a daddy's girl at this point, so you like having him around more now. You literally explode with smiles and squeals when you see his face.
We also moved! Carrying you in your carseat up a flight of stairs to our 2nd floor apartment is a thing of the past! (I literally cannot express how happy that makes me). We are renting a house in Tempe and it is gigantic compared to our old place. I love that we have a dining room and a guest room and a BACKYARD. We can walk to the independent bookstore and Trader Joe's. Its not a bad gig.
However, moving with a 6 mo old is not exactly "fun". You just require a lot of attention. I don't mind, I love paying attention to you. But when we have boxes and boxes and boxes and you won't let me put you down, I occasionally get frustrated. (i'm sorry.)
And, basically the same day we moved in, you gave up sleeping through the night. So we've had a month of night screams and mini tantrums at 2 or 3 am. I hate when you cry because it makes me cry sometimes. It makes your dad very angry. Mostly because he can't fix it or change it. And then I get upset because he is upset and you are upset. So 2-3 am at the Fisher house is pretty miserable these days.
BUT. You wake up with the biggest smiles and I love them so much. And you rarely cry the rest of the day. So its really our fault, your dad and me, because we got used to you sleeping all night long. Don't take it personally.
You laugh. You stick out your tongue when you smile. You are hilarious.
You were getting significantly healthier, but then we had a bout of the stomach flu. You exorcist puked for days. I mean, one night, I had to change my clothes (including underwear) 3 times. But you rallied and your dad and I can already laugh about it. Even though you were so pitiful.
I frequently look at you and feel like I'm letting everything slip by. This is an issue that I think I really need to come to terms with. I want to enjoy just this minute and not think about what I could be doing or how you won't be like this for long. I want to just be in that moment at that time. But its so hard for me. You are teaching me, though. You reach up and grab my nose while I'm absentmindedly checking my email. I laugh and say "honk honk!" back at you. So thank you - for pulling me back to what is important and what makes me happy. (you).
You've been here for a half a year already. Which is so crazy. I love you so much. I morbidly think about the fact that if you died, I'd honestly not know what to do with myself. I've never invested so much effort, thought, love, and care into anything in my life.
I love you. I love you.
Mama
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