Thursday, January 12, 2012

letters to a little one: mo 2 and mo 3

(this has been in "edit" phase for way too long, so i'm publishing as is.  sorry, molly.  your mom is a bit scatterbrained sometimes)

First day of School!!


Dear Molly,

I skipped month no. 2 because, well, I was busy learning how to be a mom.  So I'll tell you about both month no. 2 and month no. 3 here.

You are such a joy.

Really.

Here are some highlights of the past 2 months:

1.  shots

You had your first and second rounds of shots and you were incredible.  I think you cry more when I put an outfit over your head!  The nurse was impressed that you only cried for a few seconds, and I'm pretty confident that it hurt me way more than it hurt you.

2.  plane ride

You had your first plane ride!  I am the maid of honor in your Aunt S's wedding, and we flew to Ohio for her bachelorette party and shower.  I was a total and complete nervous wreck on our way, but thankfully for both flights you were able to have your own seat with your carseat.  You basically slept the whole time.  Nice work!  On this trip you also got to visit in Cleveland and in Youngstown - and meet your Aunt A and Aunt K.  More importantly - Naomi!  Naomi thought you were hilarious.  But she really just wanted your binkie.   

3.  me back to work

When you were exactly 10 weeks old, I went back to work part time.  I work 2 and a half days a week and it is such a blessing to have the extra time with you.  My first week back, your dad took vacation so I could call approximately 100 times per hour to check in on you without feeling like a total spaz.  (thank you, Pat)  I cried on the way and hugged you so hard when I came home that I was afraid I would break you.  It was definitely the first moment that I fully realized how much a part of me you are.  I am not me without you anymore.  (no pressure).

4. daycare

You started daycare at Tempe Christian Preschool.  I really like your teachers, but nothing makes it easy to leave you.  I still sob on my way to work every day after dropping you off.  But you are so good there!  You sleep more at daycare than you do at home.

5. smiles

YOU SMILE!  I put all caps because it makes me that happy to see it.  You are illusive with your smiles, and definitely won't let us get a photo of one, but they are there and your whole face lights up.  I discovered your smile for the first time when I was doing this cheesy little rhyme while we changed your diaper:

I love your eyes
and your nose
and your fingers
and your toes
and your cheeks
and your lips
and your chin
and your forehead

(you always smile at the cheeks/lip part)

6.  ohhh

You talk and talk and talk.  Ohhhhh.  a-ohhhhhhhhhhh.  All day long.  Alone in your crib.  Its hilarious.

7.  your dad

....is so awesome with you.  He throws you around and makes you do tummy time way more than you'd like.  He still gives you a bath every night (you barf so much we have to give you a bath EVERY day).  When you are crying he bounces you around and distracts you into stopping.  His engineer brain is totally on all the time - so sometimes when he's fed you, changed you, burped you and you are STILL crying, he gets a little frustrated.  But so do I.    Sometimes I'm worried you love him more, which is ridiculous, I know.  But you clearly light up when he's around.

I'm still getting the hang of things.  We have had lots of problems with your eating.  So when you have a baby who gives you trouble I will both have sympathy and laugh at you because you deserve it (just kidding... kind of).  But you are growing and developing so quickly it blows my mind.



I'll try to do better with my letters, I've been a bit overwhelmed.  But I love you.  I love you I love you I love you.

Love,

Mom

PS. stillness in the morning

dear molly,

hands down my favorite thing right now is our morning nap on days i don't go to work.  you get up around 7 and eat and then we play and hang out until 9 when you eat again.  you get very sleepy after and start to rub your eyes and blink for long stretches. 

so i scoop you up and lay you in the middle of our big king sized bed.  then i snuggle in next to you and arrange the blankets in a little nest around us.  by this time you. are. almost. asleep.

so i wrap my arm around you and pull you close.  your head falls toward me and our foreheads touch.  i look at your perfect little face for a minute and then we both fall asleep. 

sometimes for two hours. 

we both sleep so well for this nap.  i think it is because we both feel so safe and warm.

i love you so much.

mom