Hello Baby Fisher,
Hi, I'm your mom. I love you already, but I'm completely terrified of you - I have never done anything as important as being a mom and most of the time I'm pretty sure I'm going to screw it up. However, I have thought carefully about it and realize that there are very few things I can do to totally and completely mess up and ruin your life. But I have to be honest: I will definitely screw up. On little things like changing your diaper properly or teaching you how to throw a baseball (maybe we'll leave that one to dad). On big things like teaching you what to do when your feelings are hurt or how to have healthy self esteem. It scares me to think I'll pass some of my very big flaws onto your very unflawed self.
BUT - you are already a pretty lucky lady or gentleman - you have some incredible grandparents, aunts and uncles, and honorary aunts and uncles. I hope that you can pull all the best bits from the people that already love you: Aunt K & Aunt A's creativity in everything they do, Uncle G's unwillingness to just take the status quo because everyone says so, Aunt K's incredibly kind heart, your grandparents' values and love. AND you have honorary aunts and uncles all over the place, so we will be traveling lots to North Carolina, Pittsburgh, Florida, Cleveland, Columbus, Youngstown....
Mostly I hope that you take after your dad in more ways than me. I hope you see the good in everyone like he does. You know, everyone loves your dad - I actually think I've never heard anyone say anything negative about him. Mostly, if you are a girl I hope you get his skinny legs and metabolism and if you are a boy I hope you get his athletic ability :) He's terrified too - but if he is half as good with you as he is with any cat in the world, he will be the best dad out there.
We had your 20 week ultrasound and they did this really crazy 3D ultrasound - you looked completely terrifying. I mean really, you looked like a scary alien clown baby with a big creepy smile. Your dad and I found this hilarious and are very much looking forward to pulling this out when you go on dates or bring friends over in high school to embarrass you. No offense - but it is really that funny. Soon, you'll start looking like a person in there.
I'm really struggling to decide how to work child care with you. By the time you can understand this, the decision will be made and it will have been the correct one - thats what I keep telling myself when it feels really overwhelming.
I can't wait to meet you. I can't wait to make cookies together, snuggle together, read books together, pull you in a wagon and pick apples with you.
I'm trying to prepare for your arrival, but I really think most of the preparation is on the job training - so I'm just trying to take big breaths before it starts. One of the things that is really important to me is that you have a mom who is vibrant and full of life - making goals and constantly trying to reach them, whatever they may be. So I'm getting back to work on my list. I want you to be proud of me.
Keep growing, you'll be here soon. I love you, little one.
Love,
Mom
